What’s your superhero name?
Human Victim of Capitalism
Human Cancer Patient.
It is I, the Corpse On Life Support!!!!! ahahahaha
I sound more like a villain…
i am the magnetic victim of capitalism
never fear, the cop who gets away with murder is here
bad motherfucking customer service representative
it knows. it knows my life.
everyone always has sad humanstuck karkats with no family
I PREFER KARKAT TO HAVE A BIG EXTENDED FAMILY WITH GOD FATHERS AND AUNTIES AND ANNOYING COUSIN KANKRI AND A LOUD LEGALLY BLIND CRAB MOM WHO SEWS SHIT INTO HIS CLOTHES AND ADOPTS ARADIA AFTER HER DAD DIED IN A FREAK ACCIDENT AND THEY HAVE A VERY LOUD HOUSE
WITH BIG MEALS AT DINNER THAT EVERYONE ATTENDS AND KARKAT HAS TO SCREECH ACROSS THE TABLE TO GET SOMEONE TO PASS THE SALT
AND KARKAT IS VERY SWEET AND GETS HIS MOM HER FAVORITE CANDIES ON HIS WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL AND PUTS THEM IN THE FREEZER CAUSE THAT’S THE WAY SHE LIKES THEM
AND THEN KARKAT BRINGS JOHN HOME AND ISN’T SURE IF HIS FAMILY WOULD LIKE HIM UNTIL HE DECIDES TO TRY AND OUTPLAY SLICK ON THEIR GRAND PIANO IN THE LIVING ROOM AND IT TURNS INTO A PARTY
AND IT’S LIKE JOHN HAS BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME AND THEY LOVE HIM
AND WHEN THEY FINALLY GET MARRIED CRAB MOM DOES ALL THE HENNA DESIGNS ON KARKAT’S HANDS AND MAKES THESE SWEET HONEY DOUGH BALLS THAT ARE KARKAT’S FAVORITE
AND DURING JOHN’S SPEECH HE BASICALLY ADMITTED THAT WHEN HE MET KARKAT THE FIRST THING HE SAID WAS
DID THE CARPET MATCH THE DRAPES
BECAUSE HE HAS THIS FIERCELY RED HAIR AND DARK SKIN
AND THEN MADE A FACE THAT COMEDIANS USE WHEN YOU KNOW THEY ARE ABOUT TO SAY SOME SHIT
YOU BET YOUR ASS THEY DO
AND KARKAT’S FAMILY HAS HIDEOUS LAUGHTER IN THE AUDIENCE
KARKAT ALMOST DOESN’T KISS HIM AT THE ALTER FOR THAT ONE
HE WAS SO MAD
I get confused about “needing attention” too, not just because “they’re just doing it for attention” is pretty callous—“they lack a thing so much they put considerable possibly self-destructive effort into getting it, haha that’s pathetic”—but because I think sometimes it’s…
i want corpse brownies
fun things to do in front of nerdy boys
intentionally mix up zelda and link
refer to anime as “japanese kids cartoons”
pronounce pokemon as pokey-mon
Currently, only Aradia’s, Tavros’ and Karkat’s horns are available, but we’ll be releasing more in due time!
Actually kinda annoyed by this but whatever.
why the dicks are they plush
GUYS NO, HOLD UP, MY HEADCANNON WAS THAT TROLL HORNS WERE FUZZY, HOLY SHITTT